This season of the Race is going to be FANTASTIC! It already started off strong, but last night showed us new dimensions in the racers’ (crumbling) relationships, and while father and daughter and a few daters initially dove in to repair their love, it seems the Race is bringing out the hater in everyone.
Azaria and Hendekea were first out of Shannon and shared a flight with half the group to Amsterdam. Team Gramps rubbed some Irish eyes the wrong way with their pushiness, and daddy Ronald (also nicknamed “Mr. Miyagi”) loudly took issue with their seat securing tactics. Ron’s negativity got the best of him and brought out the worst in his relationship with daughter Christina. Ron thinks the best way to help his daughter is by criticizing, second guessing and berating, but what he doesn’t realize is his “life lessons” are weakening a fragile relationship and could damage their standing in the game. When you are too distracted by apologizing for your stubborn dad, you miss out on opportunities to pick up time and gain advantages. When you’re worried you’re doing everything wrong, you tend to take the safe route instead of the advantageous one.
The Dutch detour was called Hoist It or Hunt It, where teams had to either lift pieces of furniture with ropes and pulleys into an apartment window, or search for matching bikes out of hundreds of potential pairs. It should have been called Roll It or Suck It, where teams had to roll the best-looking joints and sell them to naïve tourists at the Bulldog café, or huff dong for the highest bidder in the red light district. Come on, can’t you see Gramps posing suggestively in a storefront or Pat complaining there’s too much shake in the mixed green? Most teams chose Hoist It, and Lorena and Jason sailed through while the Goths and TK and Rachel stumbled and wasted time and had to switch partners mid hoist. Girls ended up tying better knots and saving the day for the clumsy boys.
The very, very best part of the show was the Roadblock that had teams “ditch vaulting” (think pole vault over a bog), and while Lorena and Jason sailed on the first try other teams fell short or just plain fell off the pole altogether. Ronald berated Christina so badly I was surprised she didn’t bugger him with her wooden pole. What a bastard! He is a relentless jack hammer. Some racers botched the attempt and landed on their backs or in the drink, but the greatest by far was Grandpa Don dripping in black mud, stripped down to his skivvies looking like a beaten Joe Pesci wallowing in the ditch in Casino. He finally made it over and came in a respectable 8th, just ahead of the doomed father/daughter duo.
Sweet Kate and Pat missed the bus and were too late getting to the Roadblock. They knew they’d lost, but they completed the task and left the race with heads held high and only regretted not being able to further show what a pair of feisty lesbian ministers can do. It is moving to see two supportive, loving people on the show and teams like Donald and Christina and Nathan and Jennifer have much to learn about kindness and patience and how to race with the one you love.
