Tyra has done it again! Being an equal opportunity spinster she has reached out to a new community. On the last cycle of ANTM this portly chatterbox boldly cast two plus sized models in the same house. Loyal viewers of the show all gasped in fear that these two Amazons would devour every ounce of food in the loft then turn their insatiable cannibalistic appetites on their dwindling anorexic housemates. This season T. Bankable has reached out to the autistic community and cast a girl with Asberger’s syndrome. Apparently it’s a condition that makes you want to stay in your room and ignore models who drive you crazy and say horrible things about you. I must have Aspberger’s. The strangest thing about mildly autistic Heather is how it forces her and every other person to pronounce the syndrome differently. Heather says OZ-berger and if I’m not mistaken Tyra called it ASS-BEAR-ZHER’s. That bitch is crazy. I call it ass-burger’s. It was my nickname in high school.
The star of this week was raspberry headed Bianca who has taken the reigns of resident bitch from former frontrunner (and former crackbaby) Ebony. Last week Bianca got in a fight with Lisa, this week she gave Kimberly bad advice on her walk and her main target became Saleisha. Her feud was unfounded because experienced Saleisha trampled her competition in the walking challenge and waltzed away with a free trip to Paris to run the way in Coleen Quen’s upcoming Paris show.
Skinny Yale-y Victoria also had a hard time with her awkward looks and constant need to refer to herself as a nerd. We get it, you’re smart, you got into Yale. Neat. Now shut up, stop attacking Twiggy and model! In the end it came down to bitchy Bianca and clueless Kimberly who had the finesse and grace of a fly in Crisco, and Bianca was spared the cutter so Dr. Tyra can later give her a transfusion. If Bianca doesn’t shut her piehole (and let’s be honest, this house needs a tart tongued crotch in order to keep the show interesting) she will end up in the bottom two again, but if Team Tyra follows the model of the show they’ll keep Bianca until the end (as they have with past bitches and non-winners like Renee, Melrose, Jade, etc…) and try and tame this shrew.
