On this sad sack of a cast: Attack of the moldy rice! How dumb do you have to be to store your grains in a wet bag? On last week's Survivor: China, we saw muscular grave digger James’ surprise at being the best trained “survivor” on his tribe, and he only spent a few hours in a chain bookstore reading up on how to stay alive. I swear this cast is nothing but a sad sack of dim chuckle heads who will be lucky if they escape the forbidden land alive.
What happened: A storm was a brewin’ on Zhan Hu after weeks of incessant pushiness from flabby Dave, and this week he met his match when busty bra wearing Sherea went to ditch his rice and discarded mussel shells. Dave was so flustered at her rice tossing he almost grabbed her and pulled her back into common sense, but Sherea the button pusher prompted his explosion knowing every step she took toward the cliff was sending Dave further over the edge. Whenever tribe discord is showcased this early in the episode you know the bickerers are going to battle for votes as imminent loss lurks on the horizon.
It’s Chinese to Me: As a viewer I have gotten nothing so far out of the locale, but the challenges that highlight Chinese history are so much more interesting than the six seasons of Survivor pirate challenges (not to mention the sunken turd known as Pirate Master). The working-together-with-chopsticks-and-fiery-balls challenge and the ancient-Chinese-armor-and-twine-balls-roped-together challenge were both great, and once and future dominators Fei Long prevailed in both, signaling their return to the top.
Good Riddance? In the end Dave’s kidnapping and plumber’s crack could not save his soon to be extinguished torch, and although his tribe missed his work ethic while he was cavorting with Chinese speaking Jean Robert (how odd was that??!) and the rest of the Fei Longers they did not miss his pomposity and pig headed aggressiveness. He and his floppy man boobs, soft stomach and former modeling career will be missed by no one, especially fans of the game who long for Ozzie’s athleticism, Yau Man’s resourcefulness and Rupert’s likeability. It takes more than arrogance to be an All Star.
