Jean Robert rubbed everyone the wrong way by rubbing up against the ladies as he sawed logs in the communal bed. James showed he was the intellectual of the bunch as he’s the only castaway in Survivor history to mention books (he admitted to spending 4 hours in Barnes and Noble reading survival books). They are both members of Fei Long, the resident tribe that’s been kicking ass and taking names, in Chinese.
The reward challenge was another physical battle that had the castaways trying to push each other off of planks into the water as they battled for pillows. Denise had the most unfortunate undergarments that revealed a disconcerting gunt. Here is a big problem: if you are cast on the show and board a plane for China, from the moment you leave your house WEAR A BATHING SUIT! For women this means a supportive top with some sort of breastal coverage so we are not subjected to your blurred and fighting jubbly bits popping out and scaring small children. The castaways this year were told they were going on a photo shoot so they all dressed pretty and were thrown into the game with the clothes they had on their backs. This is not the first time that’s happened, don’t you remember Pearl Islands and Rupert’s chafed balls?!!! They were thrown into the sea, suits and all and Rupert had to make a skirt out some extra fabric because his sea soaked jeans gave him diaper rash.
After Zhan Hu finally won a reward challenge Sister Christian Leslie was kidnapped from Fei Long and sang like a canary at a revival. She spilled the beans about her tribe and then went back to Fei Long and spilled the beans about her spilled beans. Her head was the price of traitorial fellowship and she was sacrificed at the altar of Jeff Probst’s dimples as penance for her sin of beans. I was surprised they didn’t send Mr. Burns, I mean Courtney, packing after her miserable turn with the machete. That girl is as useful as tits on a boar, but I guess Todd the Fei Long puppet master can drag her to the final four and demand her votes along the way. My favorite grave digger James might be in trouble if he continues cavorting with frotteurer Jean Robert, they both could end up rubbing people the wrong way and this sexy black man may be sent to the graveyard of castaways past if he’s not careful. Fear the reaper!
