And continuing our coverage of dolts and ditzes was Shauvon and her ongoing search for another penis to fill the lonely void left by her ex-boyfriend. After Parisa and Trisha finished and later continued their screaming match about who’s a whore and who’s so desperate they’ll do anything to f%#k an uninterested stranger, we picked back up on the saga that is Shauvon’s love life. It is a mess.
We discovered that it wasn’t merely control David was freaking on, rather he was having a hard time with Shauvon’s partying, dancing and drinking. In his defense his girl is a wack job when she gets drunk, and seeing how she’s gotten violent with Cohutta and Isaac it is not a far stretch imaging her going postal on her sleeping boyfriend after wandering in from an after hours club drenched in vomit and soaked in urine. At first Shauvon made it seem like her boyfriend was jealous she was trying to kick start her actress/model/stripper career and he wanted this honey haired siren all to himself. Turns out David probably doesn’t want her drinking and using him as her punching bag when the bars close. From the looks of their emotional email and phone exchange the gauntlet has been laid down and the painful ultimatum set in stone: stay in Sydney, leave your boyfriend, don’t come back. Shauvon wants her cake, unfortunately she’s been letting other boys sample her baked goods in a way the Good Lord only intended of married folk. Even if Shauvon high tails it home on the next Qantas flight out of Oz she’ll still have to explain how she tried to mend a broken heart with another man’s Windsong on her thighs. David may be controlling, but I’m guessing he’s not patient and now that he’s caught wind of Shauvon’s casual dalliances I’m sure he’s not dating either.
Next time look for Salt-N-Pepa, The Bachelor and America’s Most Smartest Model.
