I missed last week’s ILNY2 and worried I had lost my place in the story, fortunately I realized the show is a bunch of utterly strange hotheads competing for the love of a complicated heavily made up girl with a horrible track record. Last night there was more fighting and spitting than an Appalachian orgy and of course it revolved around the show’s snitch pretty boy, the follicly challenged Tailor Made. Tailor and Buddha got into it over last week’s Cheezy date and Buddha head butted Tailor Made who let out a yelp so squealy and girlish the producers actually subtitled it, “YEEEELLLP!”
Poor Tailor Made, he inspires such rage. At one point I kind of liked him in that smarmy, I look like a coke dealer sort of way, but now seeing him cower and yelp in the face of danger really makes him seem like a spaz. I do think he’s on the show for New York, unfortunately I don’t think it’s love that fuels him. It’s more like a weird fetish-obsession, like a guy who wears eyeliner and tucks his junk and sings to himself in the mirror.
Tailor Made’s drama and snitching didn’t end with a head butt, throat cuff and smack from newly ousted Buddha, in fact when he wasn’t running to NY’s room to plant the seed of Pretty’s gayness and other sordid tales he was working up sputum in his throat, a la Pumkin. Mr. Wise had had enough disrespect from the balding and traitorous common enemy and it all boiled over into another screaming match. After some jackal screams and monkey grunts Tailor Made hocked up an oyster and showered Mr. Wise with the gift of gag that should have sent him packing. There is clearly something wrong with this guy. He is so greasy and unstable and desperate, he’s like the male version of Lacey from Rock of Love only slightly less likable. At the chaining ceremony New York was so genuinely upset she didn’t give out chains and instead publicly chastised Tailor Made who lapped it up like milk in a shoe (he seems like the kind of guy that would drink a warm serving of 1% from a Jimmy Choo). Is he a masochist? Is he forcing everyone to treat him like a gooey turd because he gets off on it? Whatever. He stayed.
I think NY made a mistake in getting rid of super sexy 20 pack. He is so dreamy! When she asked for a kiss, 20 pack tried to tease her and brushed her lips with his and said, “You sure??” He wanted her to beg for it! New York took that as a blow off and a weineriffic excuse not to kiss because he is, in her words, “a purse holder”. How a crazy ass like It remains and a greasy punching bag like Tailor Made thrives in this competition is beyond my comprehension. I can only hope New York keeps a few good guys around; as good as the drama and chaos is for us viewers we have also grown to care about New York and I speak for many by saying I hope our girl finds real love this time around.
