The house was still reeling from Andre’s outbursts, but the grim warning from Mary Alice and Ben seemed to soften the edges of rigid Mr. Soviet. This week the Edge Challenge was a science fair hosted by gesticulating hyperactive brainiac Bill Nye the Science Guy. The models split into teams of two to explain scientific phenomena like magnetic gravitation, density flow and Newton Versus Einstein, and resident Mensa member Daniel scored points with his partner Angela and their adept explanation of a solar house. This gave them the Edge in this week’s callback challenge, which was putting white nerds in blackface, or so it would have seemed to those looking up from Reader’s Digest for a brief repose.
The challenge was actually to devise your own self tanner using ingredients like iodine, cocoa powder and various and sundry oils and brown bits, none of which are actual ingredients in self tanner. One nerdlette looked so disturbing you would have mistaken her for a burn victim while the others were oddly hued to go along with their preternaturally odd shapes. Andre had the brilliant idea of posing his model nude and placing his partner Aussie Rachel’s head next to his glistening wang (I don’t know if it was actually glistening but the thought does add something). Believe it or not Andre and his partner won and I found myself rooting for them throughout the show. How has Andre grown on me? As a child of eastern European parents who fled communism, every fiber of my being should be opposed to the existence of a trout faced man who proudly calls himself “Soviet”. Oh well, I guess I like ‘em short, hot and cocky.
Poor Jesse was in the bottom three again, and after another week of ho-hum pictures Mr. Thickinthamiddle was thrown akimbo into the soulless night. He is not a model, he is not smart, he has nothing to offer this show. Goodbye, Jesse. Put the carbs down.
